diva mariah carey

i am literally speechless. this lady is delusional with a capital D!! diva extraordinaire mariah carey has just about had enough of gettin’ older. so much so that she’s done with it!

from now on, she’ll be celebrating anniversaries of previous birthdays. uh, what?! a recent post on her fansite makes reference to her b-day. a very vague reference, that is!

“i came to have a party!” it’s almost time to put on your favorite ensemble, pop open a bottle of angel champagne (only if you’re of age and aren’t making any speeches!) and migrate to the flantastic celebration that only happens once a year.

on saturday, march 27, our one and only diva mariah carey celebrates the anniversary of her 12th birthday! mariahdailyjournal cordially invites you to join us in wishing mariah the most spectacular and, of course, festive anniversary ever!

ha! i love the reference to her alcohol-influenced acceptance speech at the palm springs international film festival. oh and if you’re curious, and a bit more normal than the likes of ms. carey, she actually just turned the big 4-0!

glee’s ace of spades

and there it is, the only darn thing i can stand about glee: jane lynch. i respect those “gleeks,” but i just canNOT get into this show. but here we are, they gave me some jane without having to watch the highschool musical!

late bloomer jane lynch has taken the world by storm these last few years, making hysterical appearances in fan faves like the 40 year old virgin, talladega nights, role models, and best in show. and now she’s charming the pants off america as cheerleading coach sue sylvester in glee.

sue’s corner is a segment intended to let sue have at it with things that bug her. and in this episode, it’s all about “sneaky gays!” loving her.

“gone are the days of oscar wilde, liberache, homosexuals so flaming that they can be seen from space. why, nowadays sneaky gays are everywhere… you could be sitting next to a sneaky gay right now, and you’d never even know it. we should be able to see a gay comin’ from a mile away.. so swish it up, gays! because if i can’t tell who’s gay, then how will i know who to judge?”

remakin’ laverne & shirley

who knew? apparently jennifer garner & jessica biel are a couple of bff’s! enough to dive into a movie project together: the movie remake of 70′s classic tv show laverne & shirley.

romantic comedy guru director garry marshall is the brains behind the operation, with a fairly unlikely screenwritin’ partner – jamie foxx! marshall tells tv guide mag:

“jamie and i are trying to do it. he’s writing it. it’s a whole different modern take on how they came up on the streets during difficult times. laverne would be this very tough girl with a big ‘L’ tattooed on her arm. jennifer garner would play laverne and jessica biel would play shirley.”

wait, what? i can totally picture a cute best friend-ish movie with these two lovely ladies, but what’s all this about growin’ up in the streets, mr. director? i’m quite curious to see how this pans out!

sarah palin’s alaska

is sarah palin gettin’ a reality show? you betcha!

the discovery channel is expected to announce their decision to host sarah palin’s untitled alaska-themed reality show in the upcoming days. produced by mark burnett, the show will feature the former vice presidential nominee as a guide to her home state.

this should be interesting – can’t wait to see trailer! she’ll introduce us to the people, traditions and attractions of our nation’s 49th state. but here’s the best part – lady palin is expected to score over $1 million an episode! crap, i’m in the wrong business…

discovery’s execs are banking on palin’s controversial nature to bring in the ratings. regardless of how you feel about her, i’m betting both fans and curious non-fans will most likely tune in to see her roam around in the cool alaskan air.

i’m smellin’ a hit. will you be tuning in?

dear ke$ha, go away soon!

i’m pretty much over “ke$ha.” who’s with me??

she’s been all over lately, her attitude of entitlement causing more attention than her singing. she’s spendin’ more time apologizing than singing! not a good career move. and after her horrific “live” performance on american idol, i’m hoping her 15 minutes will be up soon. she’s ragged on everyone from britney spears to justin bieber… just shut it, ke$ha!

in an interview with maxim, ke$ha said of tweenie hero j.bieber “he’s a tiny little baby! i would love to just push him around on stage in a carriage.” yeah, i’m sure he loved hearing that! she took to her twitter for a grammatically brilliant apology: “dear justin b i am so sorry if my bad joke has hurt your feelings.u r obviouslyso talented andi would never mean to offend u.i think u r rad”

wow, that kinda hurt my eyes just reading that.

but she wasn’t done there! she then was up in headlines for criticizing ms. britney spears! a lyric in one of her older songs was revealed that said: “britney spears… britney, who?” check out her clarification for that below. is it just me or was she lookin’ a wee bit out of it? bizarre!

get gaga some food!

dear lady gaga, it’s called food. eat some of it!! okay, okay. it’s not our place to speculate. but, come on!

the international pop star burst onto the scene less than two years ago. her quirky attitude and artistic prowess have catapulted her to the top of the charts. that’s all well & good… but take a look at the toll it’s had on her!

her latest music video for telephone has bloggers & critics focusing on one thing: her weight. i may be weirded out by her interviews and her outfits, but one thing is for sure – she’s talented. and it sucks to see that, after all her female empowerment words of wisdom, it would appear she has given in to the demands of fame.

gaga is seen to the left as a skin-and-bones version of herself in one of telephone‘s dance sequences. one blogger even put it:

“the first dance sequence is all about…honestly, it’s about how skinny lady gaga has become. while she was certainly slim at the start of her career, her weight was still in the realm of normal, and it was refreshing to see someone in the industry flaunting healthy-looking thighs with such reckless abandon. that girl has been replaced with the “incredible shrinking woman”, adhering to cookie-cutter expectations of what pop stars should look like. how’s that for being a groundbreaking artist? perhaps we needn’t look much further to explain the strange accent she’s adopted and her ridiculously slow response time in interviews—this girl is HUNGRY.”

and it seems the problem is growing! the lady was in new zealand this past saturday, and nearly collapsed on stage. check the video below – around the 1:30 mark – to see her begin sitting and even lying down during bad romance. she’s on the verge of wrapping up her 100+ show tour, a feat that even the healthiest of stars would struggle with. ya can’t argue that this girl needs break.

shrek forever after!



fiiiiiiinally! the new film in the shrek franchise has hit the internet. dubbed shrek forever after, the film is the 4th and last in the series. the first and second, AMAZING. the third was pure rubbish. hopefully we got a good one in the fourth?

this time, we see shrek as a tired family man who is growing weary of the responsibilities of kids & daipers. no one in town is scared of him anymore, and he longs to feel like a “real ogre” again. enter the evil rumpelstiltskin, the villain of the flick! (there’s gotta be one, right?)

rumpel strikes a mysterious deal with shrek, which transports him back to his old life just for one day. things aren’t as great as they seem, as shrek sees that his beloved wife fiona and best friends don’t even recognize him. my favorite part? puss in boots is now a fat cat! the film opens in theaters may 21st.

jessica simpson unveils the price of beauty

alright jessica, what’s going on here? i suppose it has to do with the recent backlash about her weight.

the former pop star (i say “former” because let’s face it, she hasn’t had a hit in awhile!) has taken her game back to the world of reality tv.

SHOCKER! another out-of-the-limelight celeb is grasping at fame via reality fame. that trail’s been blazed too many to count, really. she’ll be debuting the price of beauty, in which she travels around the county unveiling what “true” beauty is all about. should be interesting, but reality tv? come on JSimps.

the show’s been added to vh1′s spring lineup, premiering march 15th at 10pm. she even released a single for the show, called who we are.  jessie-poo shares,

“i was inspired to write whenever i got back from traveling the world. we all struggle with the same issues. we all battle self-esteem. it’s just about being good enough for yourself.”

check out a clip below from the first episode, in which jessica travels to a “fattening hut!” so the question is…. will you be tuning in?

the fashion report: 2010 Academy Awards

ahhh, the red carpet. this year, i had so much to say that i even live-blogged it. i gotta a lot of opinions… apparently.

the ladies above had me over the moon in awe. kate beckinsale – i dunno, maybe it’s just her rockin’ bod – but she looked incredible in this kaufman franco gown. and playing up her curves big time was j.lo in this little number by giorgio armani prive.

another favorite was glee star lea michele in oscar de la renta. she got it right at the globes too! however, maybe it’s time to go for some color? she’s a fan of black.

penelope cruz chose the gorgeous red ensemble by donna karan. as far as i’m concerned, she can do no wrong. and wrapping out my fave top 5 is rachel mcadams… holy beautiful! she rocked this watercolor elie saab gown. pure perfection.

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and now for the worst. i almost gagged looking at a few of these. sarah jessica parker leads the pack with this beyond fugly canary-yellow dress by chanel. what’s with the darn neck scarf? and i’m hating the shapelessness. nicole richie was arm candy to fiance joel madden, who DJ’ed the event. unforch, she got it oh-so-wrong in this elvira-esque reen acra dress. stripes at the oscars? i don’t think so.

and charlize. ohhhh charlize what the HECK were you thinking?? the lavender boob-cupping is not flattering. this is one time dior couture was not a good look for her. definitely my “worst dressed” for the evening! now, diane kruger wasn’t quite so bad. i actually would’ve liked her chanel choice had it not been interrupted mid-way by those ruffles. close, but no cigar.

zoe saldana’s gown had the makings of a gorgeous dress… great fit, inventive, sparkly and purple. until the camera panned down to the bottom. what the balls? (literally) this givenchy gown was stirrin’ up quite the controversy. she looks like a paper mache project! and my favorite, as one reporter put it, “how do you say UGLY in na’vi?”

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and for good measure, i threw in two gentlemen that got it right. first we have my celeb crush ryan reynolds in a classic tom ford tux. you can never go wrong with a good-fitting suit! i have to hand it to robert downey jr. for being inventive here. while i don’t love the blue sunglasses, i am a hug fan of the blue bow tie. his lanvin tuxedo even coordinated well with his wife’s! now, that’s cute.

alright, so what are you thinkin’? agree or disagree on my best/worsts?

live at the 2010 Academy Awards

9:02 – alright, that was fun. after 6 hours of live-bloggin’, i’m done-zo.

8:59 – THE HURT LOCKER wins best picture!! wow! what a big upset!! director kathryn bigelow thanks all the men and women serving in any capacity in our country… “they’re there for us, and we’re there for them.”

8:58 – tommy hanks is here to present for best picture. love him!

8:53 – best director: kathryn bigelow for the hurt locker. the first time a woman has ever won in this category!

8:44 – best actress in a leading role: sandra bullock for the blind side. “did i really earn this, or did i just wear ya down?” what a great acceptance speech!

8:27 – and now for the big dogs… best actor in a leading role: jeff bridges for crazy heart. it’s THE DUDE! how cute, he thanks his wife of 33 years.

8:16 – quentin tarantino is weird.

8:12 – sidenote: the first academy award ceremony in 1929 lasted only 15 minutes. we’re now going on 3 hours. HA!

8:06 – quick shot of the hosts backstage… wearing matching orange snuggies, of course.

8:02 – i heard this afternoon that academy award hosts only get about 15-20 minutes of screen time during the 3-hour broadcast. boo! i need more steve martin & alec baldwin.

7:56 – “remember, the world we created for you is just as amazing as the one we live in.” – winner for visual effects, from avatar.

7:52 – best original score: up!

7:47 – just realized farrah fawcett wasn’t included in the memoriam! MAJOR mistake on the producer’s part.

7:38 – JAMES TAYLOR!!!! singing RIP to patrick swayze, brittany murphy, roy disney, michael jackson, natasha richardson, etc…

7:36 – and avatar picks up it’s first oscar of the night, for cinematography.

7:35 – sandra bullock to the cinematographer on her movie sets: “dude, make me look good.”

7:28 – elizabeth banks is funny!

7:23 – “yeah, yeah, it’s me.” – morgan freeman, when announced that a famous voice would help narrate the sound editing “how-to” video. effective, because i don’t think anybody knows what sounds mixing/editing even refers to!

7:19 – ooooo a tribute to horror films: jaws, the exorcist, chucky, psycho, the shining, scream, silence of the lambs, etc…

7:17 – steve and alec in a film short… “i can’t believe they didn’t get us our own rooms!” as they share a bed the night before their hosting duties…

7:11 – the young victoria wins for costume design. take a look at the trailer. did the film deserve to win?

6:58 – best supporting actress: mo’nique for precious. i saw that comin’ from a mile away! “thank you to my husband for showing me that sometimes you have to forego what’s popular to do what’s right. and baby, you are so right!”

6:55 – “later, the governor’s ball will be held. just one of the many balls that will be held in hollywood later tonight” – robin williams

6:52 – good choice of dress, queen latifah! very flattering.

6:48 – best adapted screenplay: precious.

6:39 – ben stiller comes out in full avatar gear… “this seemed like a better idea in rehearsal…”

6:38 – i HATE when they cut people off, especially people who aren’t well-known. it’s just sad.

6:30 – zoe saldana, again, what the heck are you wearing?!

6:18 – “hey ferris, it is your day off?” paying tribute to legendary director john hughes. so cool, got all the old gang together to celebrate him!

6:15 – best original screenplay: the hurt locker. well-deserved.

6:04 – miley slips up while presenting… “it’s our first time here, we’re a little nervous!” the winner for best song: “the weary kind” from crazy heart.

5:57 – cameron diaz & steve carrel with a HIIIIlarious dialogue about being so “dazzling” that it’s hard to look at them. going through the nominees for best animated feature film… and the award goes to: up!

5:46 – best supporting actor award goes to: christoph waltz for inglorious basterds. YES!

5:41 – “christoph waltz [of inglorious basterds] plays a nazi obsessed with finding jews. well, christoph (motions to the audience)” HAHA!

5:40 - penelope cruz steals the show in that donna karan couture gown of hers!

5:39 – the boys pull out their 3-D glasses to take a peekeroo at avatar director james cameron.

5:37 – “oh look, it’s that damn helen mirren.” “steve, it’s dame helen mirren.”

5:35 – paying honor to the most nominated actress of all time… meryl streep!! or, as steve martin put it, she’s got the “most losses.”

5:34 – i love steve martin & alec baldwin. and i loved it’s complicated. so funny!

5:32 – alright, neil patrick harris is now in a sparkly tux, singing his little heart out. wow, this is a big theatrical number! complete with showgirls and kick lines…

5:31 – the curtains open, and all the best actor & actress nominees are on stage! that’s new.

5:30 – okay, thanks ABC for the last of the red carpet coverage. let’s get on with the show!!

5:26 – meryl looks incredible! favorite part of the night, she says? “getting inside, sitting down & slippin’ off the jimmy choos!”

5:23 – kate winslet always is “best dressed” in my book. gorgeous ensemble, and loving the canary yellow jewelry.

5:22 – miley cyrus, pull your darn shoulders back. bad posture is one of my biggest pet peeves!

5:19 – sidenote, ABC has some great new shows out this year… modern family, the middle, cougartown. love them all!

5:15 – watching the ceremony in high-definition is a whole new ballgame. no amount of make-up can’t help you hide from the cameras, ladies!

5:10 – kathy ireland is the most awkward interviewer i’ve ever seen. what were you thinking, ABC?

5:05 – i hate when hosts ask the celebs if they’re “happy to be there?” yeah, obviously!

5:02 – the five best supporting actress nominees are up on the platform. what a gorgeous array of dresses!

5:01 – sherri shepard & kathy ireland open the oscars. wait, why?

5:00 – did ya see my best & worst of the red carpet?