not “herself” tonight!

holy bondage, christina! trying to stay relevant, are we ms. aguilera? it would appear so, judging by the premiere video her latest single not myself tonight! check it out, above.

the little lady is groping, grinding, humping, stripping, kissing, straddling… with boys AND girls (did anyone else notice that the brunette she gets it on with is channing tatum’s wife jenna dewan??!)

she’s really taking the “sex sells” mentality to heart! the 29-year-old singer embraces her inner dominatrix in the vid, saying “i’m more confident and comfortable in my own skin. “i think i’m even a more sexual christina.”

yeah, like how is that possible? anyone remember her video for dirty?

not to mention the striking similarities between her “new” look and that of lady gaga’s. everything from the tongue-in-cheek dancing to the hair, make-up and outfits. well, they do share a director – hype williams also led lady gaga & beyonce in the video for video phone.

what do you think of the video… or song, for that matter?

lane bryant bias?

what’s this? bias against full-figured girls, that’s what!

if you own a TV, you’ve been subject to one-too-many racy victoria’s secret commercials. you know, the ones with almost-naked stick figures with wind and silk and lace and… well, you get the picture.

those were fiiiiine for TV networks FOX and ABC. but when lane bryant came out with a lingerie commersh, the brakes were pumped! the plus-size retailer claims their above commercial was banned from ABC’s dancing with the stars and FOX’s american idol because they have a bias against full-figured models.

FOX and ABC’s rebuttal? it flashes too much flesh for the family-oriented shows. oh, and VS commercials don’t? uh huh.

the ad in question shows a curvy (and SEXY!) woman trying on various articles of lingerie, about to go “meet dan for lunch,” according to her smartphone appointment. she then heads out in a trenchcoat on, with nothing underneath but a bra and panties. presumeably for some lovin’!

a little racy for the family hour? perhaps, but it’s not too different from any other lingerie ad on TV, except that the model is voluptuous, not skinnier-than-skinny. what do you think? did FOX and ABC act out of line?

christina hendricks is amazing

hallelujah! and hallelujah one more time for good measure! mad men‘s christina hendricks has been named the america’s most beautiful woman by esquire magazine. so, so deserving.

she just exudes “sexy!” the actress, who received a whopping 30 per cent of the votes, appears on the cover of the the mag’s may issue.

following closely behind the mad men bombshell was previous winner megan fox with 14 % of the votes and victoria’s secret model adriana lima, who earned 17 %. as gorgeous as she is, her interview was even better. check out some highlights below on her “letter to men”:

We love your body. If we’re in love with you, we love your body. Your potbelly, everything. Even if you’re insecure about something, we love your body. You feel like you’re not this or that? We love your body. We embrace everything. Because it’s you.

We remember forever what you say about the bodies of other women. When you mention in passing that a certain woman is attractive — could be someone in the office, a woman on the street, a celebrity, any woman in the world, really — your comment goes into a steel box and it stays there forever. We will file the comment under “Women He Finds Attractive.”

We also remember everything you say about our bodies, be it good or bad. Doesn’t matter if it’s a compliment. Could be just a comment. Those things you say are stored away in the steel box, and we remember these things verbatim. We remember what you were wearing and the street corner you were standing on when you said it.

Remember what we like… I mentioned this three or four weeks ago and talked about it briefly, but he was really listening to me. And he actually went out and researched and found this thing for me. It was amazing.

Stand up, open a door, offer a jacket. We talk about it with our friends after you do it. We say, “Can you believe he stood up when I approached the table?” It makes us feel important. And it makes you important because we talk about it.

No shorts that go below the knee. The ones almost like capri pants, the ones that hover somewhere between the kneecap and the calf? Enough with those shorts. They are the most embarrassing pants in the world. They should never be worn. No woman likes those.

There are better words than beautiful. Radiant, for instance. It’s an underused word. It’s a very special word. “You are radiant.” Also, enchanting, smoldering, intoxicating, charming, fetching.

Marriage changes very little. Intelligence and humor (and your smell) are what get you laid. That’s what got you laid when you were single. That’s what gets you laid when you’re married. Everything still works in marriage: especially intelligence and humor. Because the sexiest thing is to know you.

miley gets a 3.4M pad?

miley cyrus is 17. seventeen years old. and is moving into a 3.4 million mansion in toluca lake. but not to fret, billy ray, she’s just a few 100 feet away!

why is this happening, i ask you? more deets on the mansion…

“the pop star’s new spanish-style hacienda home is 4,045 sq feet in size and has four bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms plus a tennis court and pool.

there is a formal dining room with french doors that open to the yard, a wood-paneled study, and a state-of-the-art kitchen with a center island, granite counter tops, several sky lights, and a menu planning area.”

sounds dreamy! and if that wasn’t enough space for one person, she’s also got a 2-bedroom guest house on the property. this way, all her disney buddies can get their own room when they have sleepovers!

ryan seacrest is… not funny

throw it down, dunklemen!! me thinks american idol host ryan seacrest is starting to lose his coveted popularity votes – and in large numbers!

the over-eccentric host has been drawing awkward attention to himself the past few weeks, in the form of horrible jokes, dancing with unwilling strangers and overall, just making everyone feel generally uncomfortable. but nothing tops this!

back in season one, seacrest had a co-host – i know, hard to believe he would actually share the spotlight. brian dunklemen left idol after that season (bad move, buddy!) and has been the butt of lots of jokes because of it.

this past wednesday night, seacrest spat out that dunklemen would be returning to host idol gives back next week, to which the crowd applauded, then fell eerily silent after seacrest said it was a joke. GOOD JOKE RYAN!!

mr. dunklemen recently spoke with tv.com about the incident… and oh yeah it’s gettin’ heated!

“well, it was an attempt at a joke. but unfortunately for ryan, instead of a laugh, he got applause. that’s never really been his strong suit. but it was a joke, and whether it was mean-spirited or not is irrelevant. a joke’s a joke; you can either take it or you can’t.”

of ryan’s other strange behavior dunkleman says,

“the timing doesn’t surprise me. dancing with the stars has replaced idol as the no. 1 show for, what, the last two weeks? i’m sure that’s sending seacrest into a panic. it’s not surprising that he would act crazy to get attention, or throw my name out there — he’s done things like this before.”

cat fight! how long ’til seacrest responds? i give it 3, 2, 1…

“killin’” with katherine & ashton

katherine heigl. ashton kutcher. already this movie is sounding good – and lookin’ good! barreling off of box office hits like the ugly truth and what happens in vegas, it was the perfect moment to seize.

these two are veterans of the romantic comedy genre! their latest, killers, boasts a pretty hysterical trailer (see above) and an entertaining synopsis:

trying to recover from a sudden break-up, jen (heigl) believes she’ll never fall in love again. but when she reluctantly joins her parents on a trip to the french riviera, jen happens to meet the man of her dreams, spencer (kutcher).

three years later, her seemingly impossible wish has come true: she and spencer are newlyweds living the ideal suburban life – that is, until the morning after spencer’s 30th birthday when bullets start flying. literally.

yes, it’s dumb. but i’m sure it will be funny! killers is set to release june 4th – kickin’ off a long list of summer blockbusters including iron man 2, shrek forever after, sex and the city 2, the twilight saga: eclipse and little fockers. seeing a trend from that list? all sequels!

adam lambert a mentor?!

mariah carey, neil diamond, dolly parton, usher, mick jagger… adam lambert?! clearly, american idol had one thing in mind when selecting adam lambert as their next mentor judge: money.

promoting lambert on the show is essentially free marketing for the idol peeps & their label. because they clearly weren’t thinking about music industry experience! this guy’s been around for what – 10.5 minutes? annoying.

adam will be mentoring tonight on idol – april 13th. alright i get it, it’s your show, you wanna promote your own people. but how about some previous idols with proven success stories… (aka carrie underwood, kelly clarkson)

regardless, the queen of glam will be mentoring on tuesday’s show, and performing on wednesday. are you excited? or like me… annoyed?

i’m ron burgundy?

update: directory adam mckay tweeted on thursday “so bummed. paramount basically passed on anchorman 2. even after we cut our budget down. we tried… to all who asked: no we can’t do anchorman 2 at another studio. paramount owns it.”

NOOOOOOOOO how can this be true? paramount be talkin’ crazy!!!


i hope this isn’t a joke, because this would just about make my life complete!

it’s been confirmed: anchorman 2 is a “go!” both will ferrell & david koechner have gone public with their desire to don plaid suits and take to the cameras again.

i mean, it would be a travesty not to! these guys are pretty phenom together. but here’s a disclaimer from ferrell himself – the sequel won’t be anywhere near as good as the original!

“we don’t think we can make it as good. it would be really fun to do, so we might just try to make the craziest sequel you’ve ever seen. it could be terrible, but if they’re going to pay us to do it, then why not, right?”

agreed! do it! since anchorman‘s release in 2004, the cast has gone on to even more popular projects. which might make getting the gang back together a little harder. ferrell has his concerns, but koechner assures us that it won’t be a problem… they’ve got the same manager, so it’s just a matter of time that they’ll be back in the game! in the meantime, enjoy one of my (many) favorite anchorman scenes below.

justin bieber fever!

it’s the biebs!!

this 16-year-old girl boy has taken the country by storm, one pop song at a time. he’s even landed on the cover of people this week, out april 9th.

congrats, but perhaps people should have cleared the crazy pic with justin beforhand! he tweets:

“dear @peoplemag covershoot, next time i laugh real crazy warn me u r still taking pics…still appreciate u but let’s get on the same page… i look crazy as heck on the cover but if u cant laugh at yourself u ain’t havin fun”.

and listen up tweenies – the little one spills the hot details on this love life in the article… “right now, it’s too difficult ’cause i’m traveling so much”… oh yeah, and because you’re a BABY.

but you have to hand it to him, he’s a star! p.s. i love this hysterical video parody of his songs – you have to watch this!

a big f’ing deal!

famous people, listen up! if you got a mic attached to you, rest assured it will pick up noise. even whispers!

so, the healthcare reform passed. as vice president joe biden was introducing our President, he let a big ‘ole f-bomb slip! so hysterical. on live television, vp biden turned to the prez and said “this is a big f—-ing deal!”

and now you can get your very own “big f—ing deal” (bfd) t-shirt!! where do you find this fashion must-have? on barackobama.com, of course. the “bfd” t-shirt can be yours for only $25. the site explains:

there are things that are a big deal – birthdays, anniversaries, the superbowl. and then there are things that are a “bfd”, like delivering health insurance to 32 million Americans.

we worked hard together to make health reform a reality, and now you can celebrate this historic victory with this shirt. this shirt is super-soft, fine jersey cotton, union-printed, and made in the USA.”

so funny. will you be ordering one? check out the video of infamous biden’s slip-up below!