reality TV stars, UNITE!

what a lovely idea! select the most genius and accomplished minds of our time, and throw them in the kitchen.

well, the most genius and accomplished minds of our time weren’t available, so they got some reality show rejects. the hillsheidi montag, the bachelor‘s jake pavelka and real housewivesdanielle staub were recently photographed together, and their respective tweets confirm they’re shooting a reality show!

while the details are still under wraps, its been reported that the montag & crew will be “revamping a restaurant from the ground up.” right, since they have SO much business experience!

where’s it airing? on vh1, of course! yikes. just another example of quality TV programming.

squat & squeeze

heidimontagcheckkkkk it out! do you want to look like heidi montag? well all you need is a nose job, a boob job, and THIS workout video! i say go for it. the 22-year-old reality tv star has taken her “fame” to the fitness world for her very own workout routine.

for only $19.95 you can find out all of heidi’s secrets! complete with butt squeezes & skimpy outfits, i’m sure this is her best work yet. montag opened up to self magazine about the vid: “the e-book is a healthy lifestyle to adapt and adjust your body to every day. you can download exercises, a plan to break-down what you should do each day, a whole health plan – it’s really a lifestyle of fitness.”

but what i really love is her mention of her hard work… i mean, her plastic surgery endeavors. “the fun thing about surgery is that they always have new things and you can always try things. i’m not sure what’s on that list right now, but i’m sure as i get older, i’ll want to keep up with maintenance as most hollywood does.” doesn’t that defeat the whole purpose of a workout video? why work out when you can just get it lifted & sucked out? well, heidi, i think i’ll pass on the video, thanks.

mother heidi

heidimother

i can’t even bring myself to fully dive into this insanity. so i’ll just share and bail.

paparazzi-lover heidi montag of reality fame has recently proclaimed “my goal is to be a true disciple of Jesus, a mother theresa helping the poor & the hungry.” now hey, i’m not here to judge how sincere her faith may be, but i can laugh in her face for comparing herself to mother theresa.

this came about during her stay on the reality tv show ‘i’m a celebrity get me out of here,’ in which she & hubby spencer thoroughly embarassed themselves just by, well, being themselves.

after the couple left the show because they were “too big of celebrities to be there,” they of course made the media rounds. on an appearance on ‘the view,’ the hosts confronted her claim, asking her if she truly believes herself to be similar to mother theresa. “well, i’m more of a modern version,” she says. yeah, like the kind who poses for playboy!