awk to the ward

deniserich

denise richards apparently has some news to share with us! the  one-time bond girl & current reality tv star has struck out in the relationship game ever since divorcing husband charlie sheen back in 2006.

but that ain’t gonna stop her from meeting her “needs!” richards claims she regularly checks into hotels for one-night romp sessions in the sack with various male friends.

she told u.s. tabloid globe, “you don’t want to bring them home to your house, but i have certain needs. friends with benefits are awesome. i used to be like, ‘oh no, you have to be in a relationship.’ but after going through a divorce, i’m like, ‘life is short, i wanna have a good time.’”

first off, is that really something you want to admit? she’s got two little girls at home. sounds a little desperate to me, denise. but i guess that’s nothing new – have you checked out her reality tv show on e! lately? alright i’m done with the denise-bashing… at least for today!

taking credit

lacandy

kids, listen up. if you want to be a national best-selling author, all you gotta do is star in a reality tv show! at least that’s what lauren conrad has done. conrad, from ‘the hills’ & ‘laguna beach’ fame, recently ended her time in reality tv. but not in the spotlight! she ain’t done yet.

lauren penned a three-book deal with publisher harpercollins this past year, l.a. candy being the first release. the novel hit book shelves on june 16th and, amazingly, has topped the new york times best seller list two weeks in a row. yes, i was shocked too. and apparently so was the author herself! “if someone said to me five years ago when this all started that I would one day make the new york times best seller list i wouldn’t have believed it.”

the novel is “loosely” based on conrad’s own experiences. “loosely?” the book centers around jane roberts – a 19-year-old who moves to hollywood and ends up starring in a reality tv show. what really bugs me, though, is the fact that lauren probably had close to no hand in actually writing the book. the poor ghostwriter! he/she is getting no credit for what i’m sure is pure literary brilliance.

mother heidi

heidimother

i can’t even bring myself to fully dive into this insanity. so i’ll just share and bail.

paparazzi-lover heidi montag of reality fame has recently proclaimed “my goal is to be a true disciple of Jesus, a mother theresa helping the poor & the hungry.” now hey, i’m not here to judge how sincere her faith may be, but i can laugh in her face for comparing herself to mother theresa.

this came about during her stay on the reality tv show ‘i’m a celebrity get me out of here,’ in which she & hubby spencer thoroughly embarassed themselves just by, well, being themselves.

after the couple left the show because they were “too big of celebrities to be there,” they of course made the media rounds. on an appearance on ‘the view,’ the hosts confronted her claim, asking her if she truly believes herself to be similar to mother theresa. “well, i’m more of a modern version,” she says. yeah, like the kind who poses for playboy!